PTO Mama

PTO gets a bad rap. In movies or shows, usually moms run the show, often in some intense school election involving over-the-top politics. It’s portrayed as a group of busy-body party-planners who have too much time on their hands. The pretentious leaders are mocked for putting on frivolous events as their lives revolve solely around their children.

This annoys me.

I can’t speak for all PTO’s or PTA’s, but the one at our school is anything but that.

We are parents. Moms – working moms, part-time moms, full-time-moms. We are dads, dads who show up, stay at home dads and working dads; funny dads and quiet dads. We are families with only-children, with teenagers, with toddler-siblings making noise during plays, or a baby brother on the way. We are grandma’s writing in with questions and grandpa’s coming in for lunch. We are teachers. Teachers who work all day, and then stay late after school for meetings and to set up events, custodians who sign up for trunk or treat, staff who dress up as elves for the holiday showcase. We are a delightful mix of our school.  

No one who volunteers has too much time on their hands. Everyone is juggling far too much in their lives (I mean, seriously). But each person who comes to PTO shows up with an appreciation for the school and the kids well-being at the forefront. We work with a budget that is a fraction of other schools in our city, but we are scrappy and resourceful and creative and so many people donate their time, money, ideas, services, and more. Our meetings are casual, where we are kind to each other and listen to the thoughts people have. Our events like trunk or treat and holiday showcase and teacher appreciation don’t seem frivolous because it’s how we build our community.

Our work reminds our kids that they are worth it. It reminds our parents and caregivers that we are here for each other. It reminds our teachers and staff that we support them. It’s not party-planning. It’s fostering our family.

Investing in each other matters. Especially in today’s world, when people can often become wrapped up in their phones, scrolling instead of looking up; when we often camp out in our silos and comfort zones; when the pandemic made it easier for us to just camp out and cancel…. Showing up and meeting someone creates a link. And when enough people are linked, the community becomes stronger. When our community is stronger, our kids’ experience changes. Our school becomes better, and so do the people within it.

I have been a PTO mama for many years now. I’ve been backstage at performing arts events helping to keep the green room flowing and 40 kids quiet. I’ve run to food lion for last minute extra bags of candy for trunk or treat. I’ve piled boxes of hot coffee in my trunk for teacher appreciation week. I’ve stayed up late organizing and sending out communication to our parents and caregivers, hoping some of them will read it. I’ve led zoom meetings and ones in our sweet little library. I’ve messed up and forgotten things and laughed and made friends with people I wouldn’t have known otherwise. I’ve understood more of the teachers’ perspectives; stayed tuned in on behind the scenes admin items. I’ve listed and listed and listed some more. I’ve stuffed mailboxes; marched our kids onto the local baseball fields; handed out snow cones and popsicles; welcomed new families and hugged graduating ones goodbye. I’ve cheered for Read-a-thons and dressed up for Trunk or Treat and cut out crafts for holidays and danced at Valentine’s Day and delivered wishlists items for teachers, to cheers and joy from their kiddos in the classrooms. I’ve learned about sign up geniuses and that every year, every event, there’s always something we can change to do better. I’ve showed up for community meetings and city council meetings about education funding and written letters and talked with officials to advocate for our school. I’ve been in charge; I’ve been a parent in the back row. I’ve been tired; I’ve felt joy. But mostly, I know that I am one of many who is making a difference at our school, and that feels good, as cliché as it sounds.

I mainly write this for two reasons: 1. To appreciate the heck out of all the folks who are doing all this and more. 2. I’m passing the torch of PTO leader to another [amazing] parent so am a bit in my feels about what I’ve gained from the experience of being at the helm. and 3. To remind people that we are more than a stereotype. We’re in the hallways, on the playground, backstage at the plays, at a meeting during dinner, or in line at events.

We’re there.

And I love us.