2016/2024

2016/2024

I thought the tragedy
-the shock of a thousand-foot drop-
of losing Abram
would come rushing back,
And it did
for a moment
in the midnight black
last night, when hope was lost
and I remembered the feel of
understanding that
it would not be okay.

Last time,
days after being blindsided
by bullies and hatred,
we found out
our baby couldn’t live.

Over and over,
they had to explain
what happened.
What chance? I asked
of survival?
zero, they said. none.
Over and over
they had to explain
until the knowledge settled
sick and heavy within.

True hopelessness
sinks slowly
cell by cell,

comprehending
that living in this world
means
the worst happens.
to strangers
to us
to our homes
to our babies
we cannot protect.

Once you stare
into the cruel face of despair,
pockmarked with heartache
while the earth
impossibly continues
to turn and spin,
the dark undeniably real….

that’s when you lift your face,
sweet being,
lift your scarred and wary face
towards the warmth
and   choose   the    sun.